Rejection

I was recently rejected for a job I applied for. I was notified by a two sentence letter that didn’t even clearly state that I had been turned down. I realize that people are not chosen for positions every day, but this one was particularly painful because it was for a job as a coach in a program I had been working with for eight years as an assistant coach. I put in three times the hours as the head coach I had been working with did, ran summer programs and handled all of the administrative work. I spent time learning to deal with teenage girls and the specific issues concerning the female triad involving weight training, eating issues and psychological concerns. I had so many parents ask me to please apply for the head coach job when it became available. Most did not believe me when they found out I had to apply and go through interviews. Those who spoke to me figured it was a slam dunk and assumed I would be back as the head coach.

I, however, did not share those feelings. While I did and still do feel that I was the best candidate for the job, I received strange vibrations from the administrators I dealt with. I had heard from some of the girls that the current boy’s coach had already been selected. While the administration adamantly denies that, I received a very strong premonition that I would not get the job, and that, indeed, the boy’s coach already had it. I was tempted to ask if the interview was going to be a waste of time before I started, but decided to just present myself and my plans for improving the program. The members of the committee, which consisted of the principal, vice principal, athletic director and PTSA president went around the circle and read some questions off of a sheet. Many of the questions were not even specific to soccer. One asked how I would describe my offensive and defensive plans, as though I were trying to become a football coach. I knew when I left the room that I would not get the job.

So, when found out today that indeed, I was not chosen for the position, I felt as though I had been kicked in the gut. I happened to be at the school delivering some things when the secretary who had to type and mail the letter came up and put her arm around me and offered her sympathy. I hadn’t actually seen the letter; her comments just verified what I already suspected. I went to the vice principal's office first. He was free and sat down to talk with me. His first comment was, “I knew you’d be passionate about this.” You think? Eight years of blood sweat and tears, hours of work and preparation and they thought I would just say, “Well, thanks for considering me.”? He kept saying I interviewed well and I shouldn’t consider this a slap in the face. Really? What exactly should I consider it?

Now I know wounds heal over time and that all things need to be put in perspective. Coaching has been my identity for so many years, but it shouldn’t define who I am – even if my nickname is Coach Ann. I have many good qualities and am certainly capable of doing good things for people. I received the following from one of the parents:

"Ann, I know that being the head coach is better because you get to make the decisions, it is your program, it is your success or your failure. All I can say is, you are a very important presence, on and off the field, for these girls. Your leadership and coaching ability cannot be duplicated. They look up to you, and they listen to you, and they adore you. Of course there are other good coaches out there, but there is not another Ann. "

Hearing that from just one person makes me realize I have touched people’s lives and that regardless of the school administrations’ view, I have done a good job. Yes, it is a slap in the face that they didn’t choose me. The new coach may or may not do a good job or a better one than I. That doesn’t affect me. I want the girls to do well whether I am there or not.